Question of the Day

The Advice Column

Today’s Question: How do I move on from my Ex?

Moving on from someone is one of the hardest challenges you will ever face. It comes as a shock that the relationship you worked so hard on goes crashing down. Here is what you can do.

• A very common mistake most of us make is not allowing ourselves to feel the pain and the sadness associated with a breakup. We tend to bottle up the sadness, anger, or hurt. Remember that you can cry if you need to, it doesn’t make you weak. It is a sign of maturity when you let yourself feel the emotions. Talking to friends or writing in a journal can help process the feelings and help you get closure.

• The second thing you need to do is cut off contact, at least for a while. I am not saying, you have to kick them out of your life forever ( Assuming they are a good person). Just allow yourself to start healing before you contact your ex-partner again. Otherwise talking to them immediately after a breakup can lead to flashbacks and painful reminders.

• Now that you are single again, a lot of free time has opened up in your schedule. So keeping occupied is the key to not obsessively thinking about your ex.

• Being single gives you the freedom to control your own time. You can stay home, go out, or literally do whatever your heart desires without the additional responsibilities of a partner. Enjoy it.

• From personal experience, I would suggest not to rebound too quickly. This often leads to a worse situation, where you cannot fully commit to the person you rebound with. Everyone deserves a healthy loving relationship and just because yours didn’t work out doesn’t mean you half-heartedly date someone else.

• I have had many relationships, where I thought I would end up marrying that person but things didn’t work out and it hurt for months. Then I realized, don’t think about things that will happen in the future until they happen. Often times expectations kill relationships. You can never force love no matter how hard you try. So maybe realizing that you were meant to be somebody else’s lover gives you a positive take on the situation.

  One day, when you are with the right person you will realize how lucky you were to break up with your “Exes”.

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